


If We Could Be So Broken

by punkrockpotato



Category: All Time Low
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 08:36:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5490740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkrockpotato/pseuds/punkrockpotato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex was always afraid of water, large bodies of water to be more specific. So when he finds himself thousands of miles away from home, on a beach, just looking out into the water, he begins to realise that something’s wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If We Could Be So Broken

_ Alex was always afraid of water, large bodies of water to be more specific. So when he finds himself thousands of miles away from home, on a beach, just looking out into the water, he begins to realise that something’s wrong. _

 

\------------

 

Alex sighs, walking away from the dreadful darkness that he put himself into. Working at a hospital isn’t actually that bad, but he’s always been a flare for the dramatic. Either way though, he had just lost another patient, granted, he came in with the Grim Reaper, but it’s still hard to see a person die. 

 

He can’t wallow for very long though, the next patient is in need of his help. This patient, however, isn’t going to die right in front of his eyes, but he’s still pretty banged up. 

 

“Jack Barakat, I’m Doctor Gaskarth,” Alex mumbles, flipping through his chart, as he walks into the patient's ‘room’ which is really just two curtains, considering they’re only in the ER. He looks up at the guy with brown hair, with a blonde stripe through the side, kinda like a skunk. “What brings you here?”

 

“The cute doctor I’m going to have apparently” He smiles a little too happily for a person in a hospital. Alex just looks up at him with a blank stare, clearly too done to deal with this shit, he’s been twenty straight hours, which, he’s pretty sure is illegal, but they needed a night doctor for the E.R. “Fine, fine.” Jack laughs, “I got a bit beat up, apparently if you skateboard at night, you are more likely to fall over an unlit lamp post.”

 

“Where is your pain and on a scale of one to ten how much is your pain?” Alex asks

 

“Mostly my leg, and like an eight I guess”

 

“You seem pretty chill for an eight” Alex looks at him skeptically. 

 

Jack shrugs, his eyes fluttering a little bit, maybe an eyeroll. “You’re the one with my record in your hands, can’t you tell that this happens more often than it should”

 

Alex takes a moment to actually study the chart and it appears that, yes, this guy has taken one too many falls. Normally, he’d have to file this as a case of abuse, but apparently that already happened too, it’s not parental, seeing as he’s twenty-one living on his own, and it’s not domestic seeing as he has no romantic involvement, so Alex doesn’t bother. 

 

“Well, our x-ray tech isn’t in until tomorrow, so I’ll have to admit you.” Alex says scribbling down a note on the chart, the stereotype of doctors having shitty handwriting is one hundred percent true, as he nearly feels sorry for the nurses. “You’ll just have to stay overnight tonight until we can get you x-rayed.”

 

“That’s all good, as long as I get to see your pretty face again.” Jack smirks. 

 

“Actually” Alex hands the chart to the nurse, Carrie, “I’m going to go home and hibernate. Carrie will take care of you”

 

“Ah, but in my dreams mon amie” Jack calls after him as Alex leaves the room of curtains. 

 

\-------

 

Alex didn’t actually make it home and into bed until four in the morning, that morning, so when his phone starts to ring at ten-thirty a.m., he’s got every right to answer it a little grumpily. 

 

“What?” Alex says with little heat due to just how tired he is. 

 

“I know your shift doesn’t start until one, but you need to come in” his floor manager, Cheryl answers, clearly too used to grumpy answers.

 

“Six hours” Alex grumbles, not ready to move yet. “Six hours of sleep.”

 

“Yeah. Well, you’re a professional. People need you. One person specifically.”

 

“What?” Alex says sitting up

 

“I’ll explain when you get here, just hurry up.”

 

\-------

 

Turns out, Alex finds out as he’s changing into his scrubs, that the guy from last night- Jack Barakat- downright  _ refused _ to let any other doctor touch him. 

 

“If this is your way of trying to woo me, it’s failing” Alex says walking into the room, flipping mindlessly through his chart again. 

 

“Ah, but you’re back aren’t you?” Jack smiles skillfully, now dressed in a hospital gown instead of his ripped jeans and t-shirt with ‘boner’ obscenely written across it.

 

Alex really wants to say something nasty back, but he likes his job, well, he doesn’t actually enjoy it, but he has nowhere else to go so he sticks with bedside hospitality.  “I’m going to sign you off, then the tech is going to come get you, Okay?” He feels like he’s speaking to a child, this is specifically why he didn’t do pediatrics. “Then, I’ll come back to share your results.” 

 

He leaves the room, putting the patient in for his x-ray. “Oooo Doctor Gaskarth” One of the nurses, Sheila, coos from behind the nurses desk. “Or should we start calling you Doctor love?”

 

The group of nurses giggle insistently behind the desk as Alex rolls his eyes. “Just get him done there” It’s not the fact that it’s a guy that’s flirting with him that makes him so uneasy, he’d be the same way with a girl, but it’s the fact that he just doesn’t have the time to keep up with a relationship. 

 

Alex leaves the giggle station to start his rounds.

 

\---------

 

Alex takes an early lunch, which pisses the technician off, but he’s running on little energy and is trying to gain some strength to deal with the patient. 

 

“Have a nice break?” The technician, Bob, says with a sarcastic smile, leaning over the desk with the x-rays in his hand. 

 

“Actually, I did Bob, thanks for asking” Alex smiles back, sticking the x-rays up on the light board, promptly cringing. 

 

“You don’t need me to tell you that it’s broken” Bob shrugs, walking away. But he is right, the shin is clearly, but incompletely snapped, a greenstick fracture, where the bone breaks but it’s not smooth and detached. This means surgery, which also means that Jack will be stay with him for an extended period of time. 

 

He sighs, walking into Jack’s room, talking before another line could drop out of Jack’s mouth. “You’ve got a greenstick fracture” Alex says holding the x-ray up to the light to prove to the patient that he’s not lying. “Which means you’ll have to have surgery to put your bone and muscle back in place.”

 

Jack wrinkles his nose in a way that Alex perceived as cute, even though he knows he won’t dare act on it. “Well at least I’ll have you to keep me company”

 

“Yeah, well you might just have to share me with a few other patients.” Alex smiles, now having coffee in him to make him slightly better. 

 

“Kinky, I like it. What are we talking here, threesome? Foursome?” 

 

“I have about six other patients, but Ms. Edwards is seventy-three so she might opt out.” that makes Jack laugh, an awkward little extroverted laugh.

 

\--------------

 

Alex has to warn Doctor Dawson, the surgeon, about Jack as they walk down the hall to prep the patient. The two are considered friends, talking, eating together, going out for drinks, though, they aren’t very close, Doctor Dawson has other closer friends and Alex generally keeps to himself. 

 

“Well, at least it isn’t a eighty year old woman with a broken hip” Doctor Dawson says unsympathetically. “that’s who I had a week ago”

 

Alex shrugs as they walk into the room. “Hello Jack, this is Doctor Dawson, he will be the one doing the surgery.” 

 

“Doctor Gaskarth is hotter, though I do appreciate your toned muscles” Jack says blatantly.

 

“Thank you?” Doctor Dawson says questioningly, and Alex gives him the ‘I told you so’ look. 

 

\-----

 

After surgery, Jack is still passed out the first two times Alex goes to check in on him. The third, unfortunately, he was vomiting out his insides, like a drunken frat boy, into the pink bowl the nurse was holding. 

 

“Common side effect of coming off the anesthetics.” Alex informs, so unphased by the vomiting by now. 

 

\---------

 

The next time he goes in to see him the nurse is cleaning the vomit off him with a sponge. 

 

“Well, this isn’t how I pictured the first time you seeing me naked” Jack smirks, no hint of embarrassment shown. 

 

The nurse looks at Alex weirdly but he just ignores it. “You’ll be able to go home soon” 

 

\--------

 

Alex learns that Jack is actually really smooth, considering he’s on crutches with a broken shin bone. “Here” Jack says, balancing on one crutch as he scribbles his number down on a piece of paper. “Call me sometime”

 

Alex just shoves the paper deep into his pocket to be forgotten about. 

 

\----------

 

He doesn’t think about it again until a few weeks later. 

 

It was a particularly hard day at work. There was death and depression as always, but he got a kid, fifteen years old, who tried to kill himself. 

 

That’s always unsettling, a kid so young, but this one reminded him of the past. 

 

When he gets off of work, he just starts to walk. When he was younger, his older brother, Tom, committed suicide. Apparently depression runs in the family. 

 

Alex doesn’t actually pay attention to his surrounding until he’s on the beach, looking at the waves crashing against the shore line. It’s not quite an ocean, more of a route that leads to an ocean, but it’s still a large mass of open water, which, Alex has been uneasy of for as long as he can remember. 

 

All he knows is that when he was a kid he’d have this reoccurring nightmare of getting washed out drowning and drowning in sea. It went away when he was eight, but came back when Tom died, when he moved to Baltimore, the dreams went away again, only to come back about a week ago. 

 

He looks out over the water and doesn’t actually know why he’d walk  _ here _ , out of all places, considering his nauseating fear. He begins to conclude that maybe moving to an entirely different continent didn’t do as much for him as he thought it would. 

 

He sticks his hand in his pocket, not actually expecting it to be there, but surprised when his fingers hook around between a piece of paper. He pulls it out, and just stares down at the smudged number written in blue pen for a few minutes, before pulling out his cell and typing it in. 

 

“Hello?” The voice rings out, wiry and energetic. 

 

“Hey, um… It’s Alex… Doctor Gaskarth” He’s not sure if he’s regretting this or not, but until he figures it out, he just keeps chugging along.

 

“Oh hey!” a smile lurks through the receiver. “What’s up?” 

 

“Just checking in, seeing how you’re doing, how your leg is doing.”

 

Jack laughs, “I normally don’t get personal calls from my doctors asking how I’m doing” Alex laughs awkwardly, realising that clearly he was stupid and should forget all social interaction for a little while.  “But I’m fine” Jack continues “It’d be a lot better if I were on a date with you, but whatever.”

 

Alex laughs for real this time. “You sure your leg isn’t too broken?” 

 

“I don’t know Doctor Alex, can I still go on a date with you even if I have a broken leg.”

 

Alex pauses, knowing what he wants to say but wondering if he should actually say it. “Yeah. I suppose you could” 

 

“Fantastic”Jack sounds pleasantly surprised. “When are you off of work?”

 

“Well I am right now, but that’s not enough notice” Alex pauses to think of his schedule. “and the time of day I work normally changes, but uh, my day off doesn’t. So I have every Thursday off.”

 

“Thursday” Jack repeats. “Yeah.”

 

\-------

 

Alex is walking against the wind, and he considers just turning around and going home. It’s nearly winter, the clouds are threatening to break open and release a flurry of white snow. He thinks of Jack, and how he feels guilty that he has to walk through this in crutches, with a broken fibula. 

 

When he arrives at the little cafe, Jack isn’t there yet, so he takes a spot in the corner booth made for two right by the fireplace, after getting a coffee with peppermint. 

 

Jack hobbles in a few minutes later, and Alex stands to greet him. “Would you like me to get you a coffee?” Alex asks when they sit back down, he doesn’t mind the getting up and sitting down and then getting up again sequence, unlike most people who may complain that they ‘ _ just _ sat down’. 

 

“Yeah, that’d be super awesome actually” Jack rests his crutches against the wall, telling Alex his fairly easy coffee order. 

 

When Alex comes back, Jack accepts his drink gratefully. “I didn’t think you’d call” Jack laughs a little 

 

“I didn’t think I would either.” Alex can’t help smiling back and getting lost in his eyes. 

 

“I can’t wait to get this cast off” Jack chats mindlessly. “It’s hard to get around. Living alone makes it worse.” 

 

Alex nods sympathetically. “But you got a lot of signatures” he remember seeing all the sharpie drawing on the light blue cast when he walked in. 

 

“Yeah, I gotta roommate as an artist. He’s a little out of it though, never really there.” Alex nods, he’s not good at conversation. But Jack doesn’t  seem to mind, he just keeps going. “It’s just a lot of watching Nightmare Before Christmas fifty times a day”

 

“That’s like, my favourite movie” Alex beams

 

“Dude, me too! I even have a tattoo on my chest with Jack The Pumpkin King. I’d show it to you but it’s freaking cold in here.”

 

“At least we’re by the fire” Alex concludes. 

 

\---------

 

Alex has to cancel the next Thursday’s coffee day, due to a shortage of staff. He actually doesn’t see Jack again until he comes in to get his cast removed. 

 

Alex is having a particularly shitty day, but for the sake of his patients, he’s not allowed to show it. He doesn’t need them freaking out thinking they’re dying when really they just have herpes and need to learn how to use a condom. 

 

“I was starting to think you didn’t like me” Jack smiles, with no actual hurt attached to the words. 

 

“The life of a doctor” Alex sighs with a forced smile, scribbling something down on the notepad. “so the ortho nurse will be in to remove your cast, then you’re good to go, just remember to take it slow, let it heal.” 

 

Jack nods, and Alex is off to his next patient.

 

Alex get off of work at around eight, a relatively good time considering his normal schedule. He had convinced Doctor Mary to swap shifts, she only said yes because Alex looked like he belonged down in the morgue. “get some sleep, hun” She says as Alex waves goodbye. 

 

The wind is whipping around, chasing itself, ramming into Alex, as he leaves the building. As he walks, he begins to hear light music playing, feeling sorry for the homeless people who have to stay out and bear this weather. 

 

But as he gets closer he notices a recognisable feature, the skunk-like hair. “Jack?” Alex questions, looking at Jack strumming along gently on his acoustic guitar. 

 

“Hey, you’re off early” He smiles. 

 

“What are you doing here?” Alex asks, wondering if he now has a stalker. 

 

Jack shrugs. “I wanted to play” He motions to his guitar. 

 

“Well” Alex clears his throat, “you should get out of the cold, you’ll get sick”

 

“That’s not too bad, if you end up as my doctor again” Alex rolls his eyes and Jack continues. “you look like shit, what’s up?” 

 

Alex sighs. “Just a shitty day, wanna go get pancakes?”

 

Jack smiles and bounces up, now only using one crutch. “Most definitely” 

 

“Did people die?” Jack asks when they sit in a booth at the local Denny’s. 

 

“Yeah, but people always die, it wasn’t my fault or anything. I guess tonight was just….shitty.”

 

This time it’s him nodding. Alex can see that Jack doesn’t really know what Alex is saying, but he doesn’t bother trying to explain it. 

 

“Do you have any family?” Jack asks, segwaying into something better. 

 

Alex takes a long drink before answering “Yeah, just my mum and dad”

 

“No siblings?” Jack smiles into his pancakes, “I got a little brother and a big sister”

 

“Yeah, I had an older brother but he died when I was younger” 

 

“I’m sorry” Jack frowns a little before swooping his head down. “I can’t seem to get it right”

 

“It’s fine” Alex reassures, “It was awhile ago.” When Jack doesn’t say anything, he tries again. “Watch any good movies lately? Beside Nightmare Before Christmas” 

 

Jack looks up with a smile teasing the ends of his lips. “Yeah, I saw that new horror movie that’s out, a few days ago. It wasn’t as scary as I’d hoped”

 

“I never get scared of horror movies either” Alex admits.

 

\-------------

 

Next thursday they go for a walk through the park after their coffee, now that Jack can walk. 

 

“Favourite album, Doctor Gaskarth?” Jack asks, hands dug deep down into his pockets, looking at him with excited eyes. 

 

“Blink-182’s  _ Enema Of State _ , of course” Alex says like it should’ve been obvious.  The previous night, Alex hadn’t slept as well as he had hoped. He couldn’t stop thinking about a few days prior, at Denny’s with Jack. 

 

He doesn’t like giving pieces of himself away. Casting them off into the shadows for anyone to take hold and run with, leaving him empty. That gave him an anxiety attack, and he doesn’t need that now, so he pushes the thoughts away to enjoy the sunny afternoon with Jack. 

 

Snow had fallen, less than an inch, but it was still a lovely sight to see as the walk through the park, seeing all the fresh snow untouched by human nature. 

 

“Same!” Jack cheers like he had just won something. “Man, I’d listen to Blink every day growing up, still do” 

 

Alex doesn’t like to think about growing up. He’s trying to not have dark thoughts on a bright day.

 

“Man, do you remember when Radiohead came out with like, their second album, I think? It was a riot!” Jack smiles, and somehow, Alex melts into the smile. Becomes more relaxed, more open.

 

He’s letting things go, telling him secrets. He doesn’t know why, but for once, the joyful feeling is overcoming the fear. He’s telling Jack about how he used to lay on the floor and get high to radiohead. He tells him about blasting music with his brother, seeing which parent would come up first. He tells him how his brother used to take him into his room and show him all the CD’s he bought from the store, then play them all for him. For the first time, he tells him about the day that him and Tom were out on the roof, playing The Smiths, and he confessed to his older brother all his hopes and dreams. 

 

When Alex looks up, Jack is grinning. Jack is  _ there _ . Hanging on to every word, every hope, every dream, every memory. He’s actually listening. “I’m sorry, I’m babbling” Alex looks down with a blush to his cheeks, but it could’ve been the cold air that hung comfortably around them. 

 

“Nah, it’s cool. I like listening to you talk.” Jack tilts his head a little like a dog might. “I can see it in your eyes, the happiness. You deserve that more than you think you do” 

 

Alex wonders if he actually does, considering he left his parents behind. Like, all the sorrow around him is just cosmic grieving that he just has to endure. 

 

They stop at the bar that’s right across from the street, ordering a pitcher and chatting about whatever came to mind

 

“So, Doctor Alex, tell me what makes you tick?”

 

“Are you gonna call me Doctor Alex forever?” Alex smiles inquisitively “makes me feel like I’m in a constant porno in your head”

 

“You are” Jack says very seriously. 

 

“Well, I hope I’m good, at least” Alex smiles, gulping down more of the alcohol, it burning the edges of his throat on the way down. 

 

“I wouldn’t say good… more like,  _ fantastic _ ” Jack emphasises with a sly smile. 

 

Alex giggles, and yawns. “It’s been a long day” he admits “I should be getting home” 

 

“Of course.” Jack stands up a little straighter. “Next Thursday?”

 

“Next Thursday” Alex confirms, like a promise.

 

\---------------

 

“How are you doing out there?” Alex’s mum’s voice rings out from the speaker of his cell phone. 

 

“It’s good, yeah.” he says with a little smirk to his voice, thinking about Jack, even though he doesn’t want to tell him mum just yet. “Works hard I guess, but I enjoy it.”

 

His mum laughs before saying “Come on, Alex, spill it”

 

“Spill what?”

 

“I can hear it in your voice, I’m your mother, who’s the girl?” 

 

“There is no girl” Alex says, because it’s not a lie, there really is no  _ girl _ . 

 

“You got that little tone in your voice. Who is she?” 

 

Alex takes a deep breath, knowing he really can’t run from his mother on this one. “ _ His _ name is Jack” 

 

“Jack?” His mother didn’t skip a beat. “What is he like?”

 

“He’s nice, likes the same music as me. I met him at the hospital”

 

“Another doctor?”

 

“No, he was a patient.”

 

“That sounds nice.” She says warmly, and Alex kind of melts back into that soft honey feeling.

 

\------------

 

“I brought Nightmare Before Christmas” Jack says, holding up a DVD case and a pizza. Alex lets him into his flat, on the fact that he has pizza, and leads him to the couch. He puts the movie in then comes back to the couch to steal a piece from the box. 

 

An hour, a six pack, and a large pizza later, the movie ends.

 

“What made you become a doctor?” Jack asks when Alex gets up to go throw away the pizza box. 

 

“Long story” Alex sighs, walking back from the kitchen and sitting back down next to him on the couch. 

 

“I like stories”

 

“When my brother died, I kinda freaked out a bit, went off the rails. By the time I was in high school I was out every weekend, and the weekdays were just watered down versions of weekends.” Alex clears his throat and checks to see if Jack is still with him; he is. “When I just barely graduated, my parents said they couldn’t watch another son die, so I either had to clean up my act or get out.” 

 

Jack tilts his head, as if to say ‘go on’. “So I guess I did both” Alex forces a laugh. “I got on a plane and flew from London to Baltimore, with no real plan.”

 

“You’re from London? That’s so cool!” Jack intervenes

 

Alex nods and continues. “I didn’t really know what to do when I got here so I did a little roulette with the college majors and ended up in medical.” 

 

“Always the best way to choose a career path” Jack acknowledges. 

 

“Yeah, well it was that or be homeless” 

 

Jack shrugs, putting his empty beer bottle down on the coffee table. “I suppose” 

 

Jack does that thing where he tilts his head to look at Alex, like he’s trying to get a deeper look. When Jack leans in to kiss him, his brain erases every thought clouding it, leaving the blank space with  _ ‘finally’ _ and the feel of Jack’s chapped lips against his. 

 

Jack is soft, gentle at first, making sure that Alex is okay with it, but after Alex responds positively, he takes a more aggressive reproach, taking off Alex’s shirt and pushing him to lay down flat and straddling him. Jack groans as Alex’s hands roam up his shirt, squeezing his sides, gripping his biceps, pulling off his shirt. 

 

Jack takes Alex’s hands, pinning them down against the arm of the couch, leaning forward more to put more weight on the hands and into the kiss. Alex doesn’t care, just as long as he’s being kissed, fuck he wants to be kissed. It’s been so long, the last time he knows of was a drunken hook up at the end college that he doesn’t quite remember. 

 

“How are you not getting laid every night?” Jack murmurs between kisses. 

 

“I work every night” Alex tries to arch up for contact but Jack’s legs are pinning his hips down, making it impossible. 

 

Jack laughs, his stubble dragging across Alex’s chin as he goes down to kiss his neck. Alex moans at the tongue-teeth ratio that Jack is providing, and ends up producing enough force to untrap his hips and push them up against Jack. 

 

Jack gasps, a sharp intake of air, before going back to kissing Alex’s mouth, with far more intensity than before, letting Alex push his hips up as he pleases. 

 

Jack’s free hand travels slowly down Alex’s torso, ending on his dick and pressing down, hard. Alex gasps with a hard moan following in toe. Though, he does have much time to revel in the feeling because Jack is taking his hand off and pulling Alex up so he’s sitting upright. 

 

“You don’t know how long…” Jack mumbles absently whilst he undoes Alex’s button, sliding down his jeans and boxers in one go.

 

Alex’s hips jerk up when Jack uses both of his hands to squeeze his ass. When Alex whimpers slightly from the bottom of his throat, Jack doesn’t want to wait anymore, taking Alex in with a breath. 

 

Alex’s hands tighten into, but don’t pull, Jack’s hair whilst Jack begins to swirls his tongue around his head, bobbing and sucking at all the right intervals. 

 

Jack’s holding onto Alex’s hips, listening to his deep grunts and the dirty little words that find their way out of his mouth. 

 

“Jack-” Alex gasped in warning, tugging at his hair, this only made Jack moan around his dick, and the sensations all became too much. The hot pooling in his stomach releases into Jack’s mouth. 

 

Alex slumps back, trying to slow down his breathing as he catches a glimpse of Jack wiping the excess cum off his chin. 

 

Alex finds the energy to pull himself up, then pull Jack up so he’s sitting on the couch. When Alex straddles Jack, he can feel just how hard he is. Alex puts a hand flat on Jack’s cheek before leaning in to kiss him, licking into his mouth as he grinds down. The other hand works it’s way down between their bodies and into Jack’s pants, starting to move at a quick pace, all whilst still grinding down. 

 

It doesn’t take long for Jack to dig his fingernails into Alex’s hips and come with a jerk of his own hips. 

 

\------

 

Alex is going to be seriously fucking late for work, and Jack is still sleeping, dead as a log, in his bed. Alex is too classy just to leave the dude, waking up to an empty flat, but he also looks far too cute to wake up. 

 

Alex kisses Jack’s lips gently, feeling him wake up and smile underneath him. “Please tell me I didn’t dream last night” Jack says keeping his eyes closed until the end of the sentence. 

 

“You didn’t” Alex smiled lopsidedly. “and I really didn’t want to wake you, looking all peaceful and stuff…” 

 

“But you have to go save lives” Jack finishes, no disappointment, only understanding. 

 

“You can help yourself to any food you find, but I doubt there is any” Alex says picking up his ID tag. “See you next Tuesday?” he says hopefully

 

“Absolutely” Jack concludes, and Alex leans down to kiss him goodbye before leaving for work. 

 

\----------

 

The next few weeks are close to the same. They go out, then go back to Alex’s flat, then kiss until they’re more drunk off each other’s lips than actual alcohol. They make each other cum, then pass out. Then the next morning, Alex always makes sure to say goodbye before leaving for work. 

 

The fourth time Jack sleeps over, his mum calls him around one am, an hour after they went to bed. 

 

“Hey, mum!” Alex says quietly, slipping out into the kitchen for privacy. 

 

“Hey Alex, how are you doing?” 

 

“It’s one in the morning here” Alex yawns, “and I work tomorrow”

 

“You always work” His mum says quietly then adds “I’ll let you go then, I just wanted to let you know that your aunt is so excited to see you when you come home for the holidays”

 

Guilt. Alex can hear the mislead hope in his mum’s voice, something that breaks his heart a little bit when he has to tell her, “I work Christmas Day” 

 

“But it’s Christmas” His mother sounds deflated. 

 

Alex is too tired to deal with this right now, but there’s clearly no turning back. “Yeah, people still die on Christmas” 

  
“I know, Alex” his mum sounds guilty now, which makes him feel even worse. “I just miss you” 

 

“I miss you too, mum. Let’s just, talk about this in the morning okay? I’ll call you on my lunch break.”

 

“Alright” She agrees before saying goodbye and hanging up. 

 

“Wanna talk about it?” Jack says from the doorway of the bedroom. 

 

Alex shakes his head no, and Jack doesn’t push it, they both just go back to bed, Jack wrapping his arms around Alex as they fall asleep. 

 

\---------------

 

The next time they meet is on the Tuesday before Christmas, at the cafe, whilst eating gingerbread cookies and drinking hot cocoa. 

 

“So are you flying back home for Christmas?” Jack asks

 

“No, I’m working the twenty-fifth” 

 

“Are you going home at all?”

 

“It’s a seven hour flight, there just not enough time with my work schedule.” 

 

“You could always take time off” Jack suggests

 

“I’m getting this from my mum, I don’t need it from you too” Alex says angrily, he knows Jack’s just trying to help but he gets pissed off too easily. 

 

“I’m sorry” he says quietly, as to not disturb the beast.

 

“It’s not your fault” Alex sighs “I’m just not ready to go home yet”

 

Jack nods then says “Do you still have off Thursday? You could come over to my family’s party, so you don’t have to be alone on Christmas day.”

 

Alex looks down at the last of the coffee and swirls it a little. “I don’t want to intrude, I mean, do your parents even know about me?”

 

Jack takes one of Alex’s hands and catches his eye. “Of course they do. They think you’re my boyfriend”

 

“Am I?” Alex asks, because they’ve never really talked about it.

 

“If you want to be” 

 

“Yeah” Alex blushes a little

 

“Sweet” Jack leans back in the booth “So, Christmas Eve?” 

 

\--------

 

“Hi! You must be Alex” Mrs. Barakat greets the boy holding cookies in offering, that is standing on her front porch. “Jack has told me so much about you.”

 

“Hopefully all good things” Alex has always been shy with new people, though he’s trying. 

 

Mrs. Barakat leads him to the kitchen, where Jack is leaning over the counter, throwing popcorn at his sister. “Alex!” Jack stops and smiles when he sees him. “this is my sister, May, and my brother, Joe”

 

“Hi” Alex waves. 

 

Jack takes Alex’s shaky hand in his as his family starts to interrogate him. 

 

“Jack says you guys met at the hospital, where you work”

 

“Yeah” Alex nods. “I’m a Doctor, specialising in trauma.”

 

“Jackie’s entire life is a trauma” May giggles, flicking her brother’s head. 

 

“So where’s your family, Alex?” Mr. Barakat asks. 

 

“Back home in London” Alex puts up another fake smile, he doesn’t feel like going through all of this again. Luckily, Jack is tugging him along and yelling something about watching Home Alone again. 

 

“Sorry about them” Jack apologises as he closes the door of his childhood bedroom behind them. It’s still decorated with band merch and concert tickets, just like the day he left. 

 

“It’s cool, they love you” 

 

“They love you too, they have to like anyone I like, it’s a rule”

  
Alex laughs. “I like that rule.”


End file.
